In the last blog post, I highlighted school frameworks that are proven to work for students with a variety of behavior support needs. This time I have tips for you as a parent.

What can you do…

  1. Stay calm. Calling the school while angry or being adversarial only puts up walls… even when you are right!
  2. Do not blame the school or other students. Instead ask questions such as “Can you tell me more about what happened? “What is the school’s discipline policy for all students who engage in this type of behavior?”, or “Can we meet to problem solve strategies to avoid having this happening in the future? I’d like to work with the school staff to help improve her choices”.
  3. Work as a partner with the school, build a positive relationship as much as possible even when it feels one sided.
  4. Know your school’s student handbook and discipline policies. Its important to know the written discipline rules so that everyone is working from the same agreements.
  5. Know the Principal’s approach to discipline. (This may not be in the handbook, you may need to ask the administrator)
  6. Come to the table with solutions or alternative ideas when you do not agree with school’s decision. If you only offer complaints, it’s difficult to see you as a partner for your child.
  7. Pick your battles and accept decisions by the school after you have asked them to reconsider. Ultimately, the Principal must follow the rules in the handbook.
  8. Document everything. While you really are hoping for a good relationship that fairly supports your child, you have to be prepared to take next steps. If you have a meeting in person or by phone, write down the date, start and end time and important topics. This will be important information incase you have to go to mediate a solution or take legal action.

In the end, it’s important to remember that school staff and parents probably want the same things for children. But sometimes there are differing opinions. Your job is to advocate for fairness and equity. You never know. Your child’s struggle may help another parent or another child.